Caring for your earrings

Avoid dropping or bending them, and don't get them wet if you can help it.

Yes, I know, you want to replicate your new earrings, but they're not like mogwais and they won't multiply if you get them wet.

When you're not wearing them and looking stupendously phabulicious, store them away from direct sunlight.  

Oh, and finally, don't do what 83 year old Mother did when she sprayed perfume on them that one time and they lost their sheen and turned a dull matte and now we have to refer to them as her Mattes, as in "where did I leave my Mattes?" And then we say, "you're wearing them Mother". And then she says "Oh, I'm having a senior's moment. Make me a cuppa tea dear."